全球观天下！宇宙在上，干杯Ad Fundum Universum, Ad Fundum

我在一个被上帝遗弃的酒吧里醉醺醺地醒来。一切都在旋转，我的视线模糊不清。我试着移动，却动弹不得。痛感与麻木使我无法移动。我不记得我进入过这个酒吧，更不用说我喝了多少酒。我真正记得的最后一件事是我像流星一样落在一颗星球上。

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我必须承认，躺在柜台后面很舒服，然而，我有一种被某个未知存在监视的感觉。尽管我一个人也没看到，又或许只是因为我还没有抬起头，他妈的，这些灯几乎要了我的命！感觉就好像它们是星星本身一样。不久之后，我意识到它们实际上就是。酒吧的一半，屋顶和地板，慢慢地在空间中消融，仿佛它正缓缓漂浮在宇宙中一般。

我试着移动我的一只沉重的手臂，按响柜台上的铃铛，但无济于事。我转过头，在脸的另一侧重重地倒下。墙上挂着许多截然不同的日晷。这让我想起了机场航站楼里的时钟，只是它们更漂亮，尽管我不明白它们是如何运作的。

正下方是一个酒柜，里面装满了外国瓶子，我一个也不认识。它们大概是用来调一些很不错的鸡尾酒的，但我并不太好奇。我还没来得及让我的目光进一步漫游，一个人，或者至少是一个类似于人的存在，吸引了我的注意。我并没有听到它们出现的声音，但很明显它们站在我面前。我慢慢抬起我太阳穴正一下一下跳动的头，面对我的新相识。

它的躯干打扮得相当正式，一件白色衬衫配上一条黑色领带，金色夹子折叠在同样黑色的背心下面。但眼前的这张脸却是——

嗯，没有脸。

在看起来像是人头的区域前有一片完全漆黑的虚空。在它之中好像有什么在涌动。它的脸两侧是正常的，他的头发和他的脸一样呈现黑色，但似乎像夜空一样闪闪发光。我以近乎粗鲁的姿态一直盯着它看，直到我的注意力突然被打断。

“你想点些什么，先生？”

“呃……什么？”

“啊，我很抱歉。我忘了你是新来的。你想——”

“好吧……等一下。这是什么地方？我在哪里？你是谁？我怎——”

“我怎么到这里来的？我是如何在宇宙旅行时进入酒吧的？我昨晚喝酒了吗？哦，先生，我知道你想问什么，或者更确切地说是每个新来的人想问的问题。请让我一边给你倒酒，一边解释。”

“但是我没有——”

“没有钱？先生，我从不收饮料或食物的报酬。反正那些东西就在房子里。现在请告诉我，你想点些什么？”它说着，脸上的虚空似乎在旋转，但同时又好像完全静止。天哪，这些令人讨厌的微笑的酒保为什么不能有一张真正的嘴呢？我无法读懂这个人。

“呃，你能给我弄点水吗？”我回答。

“水——水？”

“是的，水！拜托了！我已经很久没有喝任何东西了。我不在乎它有多单调无趣1，我需要喝点什么。”

“请稍等。”它把一杯晶莹剔透的水倒在一个相当花哨的玻璃杯里。我兴奋地拿起杯子，在它加冰之前就一饮而尽。

“嗯……”

“请随意饮用。”他说，他把另一个杯子放在我面前，这一次，冰块已经优雅地漂浮在水面上。

“别介意我这样做！”我喝的水可能比维京人在宴会上喝的啤酒还多，而能阻止我的只有一个矮；

“那么，我亲爱的客人，我们可以重新开始吗？”

“可以，所以我在哪里？”

“嗯，这家酒吧被别人称为思想终结的小酒馆。在一些更简单的表达中，他们将其称为空尽头酒吧。它存在于无意识和清醒之间。我让它很难找到。阻止大多数糟糕的饮酒者进入。”

“所以我有点像某种理念圈的生物？我从来没有理解那种‘集体意识层面’的东西。”

“是的，差不多是这样。”

“嗯，看来确实很难找到。无意冒犯，但你现在这里没有太多的顾客。”

“通常情况下，就像在任何酒吧里一样，酒保一次只服务一个人，而忽略了很多的人。”

“考虑到这里这种精致的风格，我在这里做什么？我觉得这很不合适……理念圈层？即使这里不是专为精英阶层提供的，似乎也只有一些很特殊的情况才能进到这里。”

“你告诉我，你是怎么来到这里的？我必须承认，我已经知道了，但我很想从你的角度听听经过。”

“好吧，我可以长话短说，但讲完完整的故事需要相当长的时间。”

“嗯，不是我们没有时间，我是说你已经花了三个月的时间恢复意识，然后来到这里。但我认为简短的版本就足够了。”

“……等等，三个月？！我昏迷了三个月？”

“你看，我不知道你是怎么活下来的，也不知道你是如何改造自己的，但是考虑到你已经变成一摊你们称之为血液的红色液体。就算不考虑你仍是一个人类，你能够回来就已经足够令人印象深刻了。”

沉默持续了好一会儿。

“我的身体呢？！怎么回事？！”

“它现在过得很好。你应该认为自己很幸运，你坠毁的星球没有捕食者，或者更确切地说，根本没有生命。 我可以给你看看。”

“请。”我犹豫着说，希望不会看到我的尸体变成某种恐怖的东西。一个圆形的开口在我的主人身后打开，向我展示了我的身体目前的状态。

“妈的，那是……天哪！”

“需要喝一杯吗？如果你需要呕吐，我也可以给你一个水桶。”

“我宁愿喝一杯。”我回头看了看那个奇怪的柜子，但依然一样酒也没认出来。那里摆着各种颜色和形状的瓶子，但有些比其他瓶子更突出。一个里面的液体好像熔岩灯一样发光和流动的瓶子特别引起了我的注意。

“事实上，喝完这个之后我似乎两个都需要。”我指着那可怕的饮料。

“就是它了。”突然，酒出现在我们面前。

“还有，你还没有真正告诉我你自己的事。”

“我宁愿不要，在你声称你告诉我你自己之前，我又已经知道了。我希望我不是一个粗鲁的主人。但是我猜，某种程度上，我的脸让你好奇，不是吗？”

“嗯，是的。我的意思是，我从我来的地方看到了一些人形异常，但没有像你这样的。而且我似乎暂时被困在这里了。”

“我不反对你的好奇，但我只向那些打败我的人透露信息。”

“别告诉我你的意思是就在实战里击败你。”

“我想你可以向我发起挑战，但一切都很好。只是个警告，你可以试一试，你没有任何东西可失去，但不要指望赢。我不会轻易对你动手的。不管怎样说，这是你的饮料。”

一小杯发光的液体放在我面前。明亮到刺眼，但不至于伤到我的眼睛。也许我也会尝到这样的感觉。“一杯烈酒吧？”我接过杯子，但没有喝。

“你想要一杯你更熟悉的饮料吗？”

“不，事实上，再来一杯。”

另一杯饮料放在空玻璃杯旁边。“嗯，有人想变得时髦。”不知怎的，我感觉它的脸上会露出一丝笑容。我开始有点喜欢它了。

“我想你误会我了。这杯是你的。”

“呃，什么？”

“我向你发起喝酒挑战。”

我们换了座位，换了一张更僻静的桌子，靠近日晷墙。虽然桌子显然在那里结束了，但我的同伴已经倒出了两排无限的饮料，似乎超越了无限。然后，我面前那张空荡荡的脸停止了旋转。

“什么，不想在工作中喝酒？”

“并不是，无论你赢与否，这都将是一段相当漫长的旅程。好吧……干杯！”

“干杯！”

我们都举起酒杯，一饮而尽。

一。

我们突然发现自己置身于一片深水之中，脚下有一道光芒，甚至更深。也许是某种液态行星？没关系，我们没有呆太久。

二。

我们现在坐在酒吧里，只有我们的桌子放在天花板上，好像我们是下面的一张桌子的投影——或者说上面？我们怎么没有掉下去，这超出了我的想象。

三。

黑暗，周遭黑暗。然后我们周围的墙壁被风吹动，宛若一朵巨大的花瓣，轻轻地打开，一个郁郁葱葱的花园展现在我们面前——

四。

砰！回到了酒吧。

“跟不上了？”

“我的意思是，这真的很奇怪，但我还没到撑不下去。”

“放松，我知道你在欣赏这些风景。我也很喜欢。”

“你到底是从哪里找到这种饮料的？”

“我自己酿造，费了不少事呢。”

“我正在喝的是一些你的力量或一些愚蠢的狗屎？你到底是什么人？”

“我相信这些答案是我们赌注的一部分，不是吗？”

“你是对的。”我们碰了碰下一个杯子。“干杯吧！”

五。

我们周围是废墟，漂浮在多个岛屿上的天空中。一只巨大的双头鸟发现了我们，似乎要把我们当做下一顿饭。它立即以不可思议的速度向我们冲来，猛烈俯冲，让秃鹰都感到逊色。哦，天哪，你不知道，那东西有该死的牙——

六。

纯白色。

七。

原核生物围绕着我们。他们移动时发出使人不安的声音，如果不是恐怖的话。气味还要更糟，像是有些东西正在被消化，或者在腐烂。然后我听到了；

“啧啧，去他妈的，我要在这里做个特技。”

八。

Site-19。自助餐厅的中间。我们的桌子漂浮在他们头顶至少一米高的地方。当我意识到这一点时，我实在无法忍耐；

“祝蠢蛋研究员好运！”

九。

又回了到酒吧。然而，不知何故，我们调换了座位……和衣服。我刚刚意识到，我现在已经多次回到地球了……我的酒友，也知道。然而，此刻我并不感到遗憾。也许是酒精？哈哈，酒精。

十。

太空中的某个角落，到处都是星星和星星。让我想起了我眼前的那张脸。它是怎么喝酒的？他妈的，我可能看不出它怎么喝酒，但我肯定会看到它能喝多少。

十一。

再一次回到酒吧。在桌子的正确的位置，更重要的是我穿着我自己的衣服。我们俩都没有伸手去拿下一个玻璃杯。

“请不要告诉我，在这一切之后，我是唯一一个想呕吐的人。”

“你还能呕吐？你把饮料倒在你深不见底的脸上，然后喝醉了，没想到它还能反过来工作。”

“如果你以为它是个无底洞，又为什么要和我比喝酒？”

“嗯，我猜想你没有多少身体，如果你确实有的话。特别是因为——乡巴佬。如果这不是一些概念或令人难以置信的平面或其他什么，基金会和我在某种程度上肯定已经发现了这么多。”

“令我惊讶的是，你们怎么如此正确，同时又错得这么离奇，你们甚至自己都不知道。”

“想解释一下吗？”

“哦，我会的……如果你能打败我。”

十二。

我们逞能般一饮而尽。它的脸比我更早地开始低下，然后撞上了桌子。奇异的变幻再次发生，但并没像我所期待的那样由于我的酒友的倒下而变失控或持续。不，它只是又发生了一次。

我们最终坐在了长凳上。就是那种你会在一个设施齐全的公园里找到的木制的长凳。在它之上是一片星云，在发出微弱光芒的紫色雾气中若隐若现。我抬起头，不禁想起当初我是如何陷入这种情况的。我的目光在这令人叹为观止的景色上流连，星云中的星光交相辉映。我默默地等待我的新朋友醒来，四周的静谧比幼鸟的新绒还要轻柔，温柔地陪伴着我。

我不知道我在那里呆了多久，没准又是三个月。

我不在乎。

……

至于它，它看起来也喜欢这种宁静与舒缓。也许是由于宿醉，它没有立即说话。但最终，我期待的获胜奖励来了。

“所以，你认为我是谁？”

“这不是应该由你来告诉我吗？”

“是的，但是在我向你坦露身份前，我很好奇你是怎么看待我的，或者说，你都知道什么。”

“我不知道。灵界仙人还是什么？不过，你是一个很棒的调酒师。真可惜我没法给你小费。”

“谢谢，但钱不重要。我是——我是——”

“嗯？”

“我是宇宙。不，我只是现在的宇宙的意识。”

“等等，那怎么会——”

“我失去了对自己身体几乎全部的控制。你知道，恒星和星座，行星，轨道，整个星团，以及所有其他的东西。”

“怎么会这样。你不应该是无所不能的吗？”

“不，我不是。你看我可以做很多事情，或者至少，我曾可以。就像你在我们喝酒时候看到的那样，耍些把戏。问题是……我的身体，真正的宇宙——或者，原始宇宙，很久以前就死了。

“原始的？”

“是的，它——我死了，或者更确切地说是反复死去。或者至少在这个过程中发生了某些变化。这有点难以解释，尤其是因为它发生在很久以前。我知道我们有的是时间——总之，现在，宇宙不存在了，但是整件事很复杂。”

“等等，宇宙正在消亡还是什么？你不能干涉吗？”

“为什么是我？见鬼，我为什么要这样做？我只是让大多数事情顺其自然。我也想多活一会，这样每个人都开心，但我不会再违背自然了。此外，即使我想这样做，我也做不到了。”

“所以你尝试像这样操纵了事物？”

“是也不是，我第一次以为自己会死却没有死去时，陷入了一个重置循环，最初这看起来很好。但是在越来越多的循环之后，事情开始变得有点奇怪。更多你已经见识过的不同的设定和异常出现了。有些就此一直存在，其余的消失无踪，但有时又重新出现。”

“这些并没有——”

“回答你的问题？诚然，它没有。好吧，有一天出现了一些东西。连我自己都不知道怎么看待它。它是否是某种类似于多次重新启动时发生的计算机损坏？这是强制违抗自然事物的产物吗？还是说这是一部分想要死去或者从我身上独立的我自己？不管它实际上是什么，它都是破坏性的，我无法让它在接下来的循环中消失。相信我，我试过了。这就是我试图操纵的。我不知道这是对还是错。甚至宇宙也会犯错误。”

“我本以为犯错是人类的专利。”

“不，即便是在宇宙层面，犯错也是一件普遍的事情，我只是在你面前转变为接近人类的形式。我认为这只是一种礼仪。”

“那你打算怎么办？”

“我能够将它困在一个星球上，让它不断地在该行星内部出现。当它开始逃脱时，我向其他物种寻求了帮助。

“然后怎么样了？”

“那个物种现在灭绝了。”

“哦……”

“好吧，如果你能想到阻止它的方法，请立刻告诉我。”

“我想我没准可以在回家之前在那里歇下脚，而且我认为我几乎无法杀死。尽管这种不死并不是我想要的，但它肯定会派上用场。”

“拜托，不要真的考虑去。那个东西将会杀死你，即便没有，你也会重复你的死亡。对待像这样的循环不能掉以轻心，你应该从我刚刚告诉你的事情中知道这一点。”

它的声音里有一种真正的颤抖，就在这一刻，我看到了最后一杯饮料。

“我会考虑的。哥们，你真的棒呆了，但我认为我是时候离开了。”

“哥们？伙计，我是宇宙，我是无性的。不管怎样，我会带你离开这里，但请答应我——”

“抱歉，我不会再这样叫你了。哦，关于离开，我忘了说。”

“嗯？”

我用两根手指夹住饮料并且举起它；“干杯！”

它喊道；“等等！”并伸出一只手。

我不确定是否是它帮助了我回来，但随后我在沙漠中惊醒，周围都是干涸的血液。我不清楚在这中间是否发生了什么，但我感到身上的每一寸都在疼痛，远远超出我的预期。

最糟的是我的宿醉。

I woke up in a state of drunkenness in a godforsaken bar. Everything was spinning, and my vision was blurry. I tried to move, but couldn't. Too much pain and too numb to move. I don't remember entering this bar, let alone how much I had drunk. The last thing I actually remembered was me falling down on a planet like a meteor.

I must confess it was quite comfortable laying behind the counter but there was this feeling of being watched by an unknown presence. Yet my perception didn't spot a single soul around, probably because I hadn't lifted my head yet, and fuck, these lights were killing me! Almost as if they were the stars itself, which not much later, I realized that they actually were. Half of the bar, roof and floorboards alike, deteriorated slowly into space, as if it was slowly floating in the universe.

I was able to move one of my heavy arms and rang the bell on the counter, to no avail. I turned my head and smacked down on the other side of my face. There were multiple, wildly different, sundials on the wall. It reminded me of clocks in an airport terminal, just prettier, although I didn't understand how they'd work inside.

Right below was a liquor cabinet full of foreign bottles I didn't recognize even a single one from. They would probably make for some good cocktails, but I didn't want to find out. Before I could let my gaze wander further, a person, or at least a being resembling a person, gained my attention. I did not hear them coming but it was clear they stood in front of me. I slowly raised my pulsing head to face my new acquaintance.

Their torso was dressed up rather formal, a white shirt complimented by a black tie and a golden clip folded underneath an equally black vest. But the face before me was-

Well, there was no face.

There was a complete pitch black void in front what mostly seemed to resemble a human head. And it moved inside itself like some kind of stream. The sides of his face were normal and his hair was as dark as his face, but seemed to sparkle as the night sky. I kept staring, most likely something that would be considered rude, until I was snapped out of my focus.

"What would you like to order, Sir?"

"Uh… Excuse me?"

"Ah, my apologies. I forgot that you are new to this establishment. Would you like to-"

"Okay… hold on a second. What is this place? Where am I? Who are you? How-"

"How did I get here? How did I end up in a bar whilst traveling the universe? Did I have a drink last night? Oh Sir, I know the questions on your mind, or rather on every newcomer's mind. Please, let me elaborate whilst I pour you a drink."

"But I don't have-"

"Any money? Sir, I never take payment for drinks or food. It's on the house anyway. Now please tell me, what can I pour you?" They said as the void in their face seemed to swirl yet be at a complete standstill at the same time. God, why couldn't I have those obnoxious smiling barmen with a real mouth instead? I couldn't get a read on this guy.

"You know what, can you get me some water?" I answered.

"Wa- Water?"

"Yes, Water! Please! It's been so long since I was able to drink anything. I don't care if it's cliché but I need to ease this thirst."

"Please, give me a moment." And they poured a glass of crystal clear water in a rather fancy glass. In excitement I took the glass and downed it before they could add the ice.

"Aaaaah…"

"Please, feel free to help yourself." He said, as he put another glass before me, this time the ice was already floating graciously on the surface.

"Don't mind if I do!" I probably drank more water than a Viking drank beer during a feast, and I was only stopped by a short;

"So, my dear guest, shall we start over?"

"Yeah, so where am I?"

"Well, this bar is mostly called the thought-end tavern by others. In some simpler dialects, they refer to it as the void-end pub. It exists somewhere between unconsciousness and being awake. I made it rather hard to find. Keeps most abysmal drinkers from entering."

"So I'm something like the noosphere? I never really got that 'plane of collective consciousness' stuff."

"Yes, something like that."

"Well, seems like it's indeed hard to find. Not to be rude, but you don't have much patrons here at the moment."

"Normally, as within any bar, a barman only serves one at the time whilst overlooking many."

"Based on the rather fine style here, what am I doing here? I feel rather out of place in this… noospheric plane? Even if it isn't for some elite class, this is quite the unique situation."

"You tell me, how did you end up here? I must confess, I already know, but I would love to hear things from your perspective."

"Well, I can put it real simple but the full story is gonna take quite a bit of time."

"Hmm, not that we don't have time, I mean you already took three months to regain consciousness once and get here. But I think the short version is good enough for now."

"… Wait, three months?! I was out for three months?"

"Look, I don't know how you survived or were able to reform yourself, but you were reduced to a pile of red liquid you call blood. The fact that you somehow came back is already more than impressive. Even without accounting that you are in fact a human."

The silence that fell took more than just a moment.

"What about my body?! How is it?!"

"It's taking its sweet time. You should consider yourself lucky the planet you crashed into doesn't have predators, or rather life at all. I could show you."

"Please do." I hesitantly said, hoping to not see myself as some piece of body horror. A circular opening opened behind my host and showed me my current state.

"Fuck, that's … Oh God!"

"Need a drink? I can also offer you a bucket if you need to puke."

"I'd rather have that drink." I looked back to the weird cabinet and still didn't recognize anything. There were bottles of all kind of colours and shapes but some stood out more than others. One whose liquid glowed and moved like a lavalamp caught my eye in particular.

"Actually, I'm probably going to need both after trying that." as I pointed to that horrific drink.

"That one it is then." And suddenly the liquor appeared in front of us.

"Also, you still haven't really told me about yourself."

"I'd rather not, and before you claim you told me about yourself, again, I already knew. Also I don't believe I've been a rude host. But if I may ask, it's partially my face that makes you curious isn't it?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I've seen some humanoid anomalies where I came from, but I just can't place you. And I seem pretty much stuck here for the time being."

"I'm not against it, but I only reveal things to people that have bested me."

"Please don't tell me you mean as in actual combat."

"I suppose you could challenge me in combat, but anything is fine really. Just a heads up, you can give it a shot and you don't have a thing to lose, but don't expect to win. I won't go easy on you. Anyway, here is your drink."

A small shot glass of glowing liquid stood in front of me. Bright enough to tingle my eyes, but not enough to hurt them. Perhaps I'd taste like that as well. "A shot, huh?" I took the glass but didn't down it.

"Would you like a drink that resembles something you are more familiar with?"

"No, in fact, give me another shot."

Another shot was placed right next to the other glass. "Well, someone wants to get buzzy." Somehow I got the feeling a small grin would have been on their face. I began to like them.

"I think you misunderstood me. This glass is yours."

"Uh, excuse me?"

"I challenge you to a drinking game."

We had changed our seats to a more secluded table adjacent to the sundial wall. Whilst the table clearly ended there, my companion had poured out two infinite rows of shots that seemingly went beyond. Then the empty face in front of me stopped swirling.

"What, don't want to drink on the job?"

"It's not that, whether you win or not, this is gonna be quite the ride. Well… Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

We both raised our glass and downed it.

One.

We suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a deep body of water with a glow underneath our feet even deeper below. Some kind of liquid planet perhaps? It didn't matter, we didn't stay long.

Two.

We now sat in a pub, only our table was set on the ceiling, as if we mirrored one of the tables below- above us? How didn't we fall down was beyond me.

Three.

Dark, it was dark. Then the walls around us moved by the wind and revealed themselves to be the petals of a giant flower which gently fell open, showing us a lushious garden of-

Four.

WHAM! Back in the bar.

"Can't keep up?"

"I mean this is some pretty strong stuff, but I am not down for the count just yet."

"Relax, I know you were taking in the view. I quite like it too."

"Where the hell did you find this drink?"

"I brew it myself, used quite a bit of power for it."

"I'm drinking your power or some Hick. shit like that? Who the hell are you?"

"I believe those answers were part of our wager, weren't they?"

"You got me there." And we clinked our next glasses. "Bottom's up!"

Five.

Ruins around us, floating in the sky on multiple islands no less. A giant two-headed bird spotted us and seemed to take us for it's next meal. Immediately it torpedoed at an incredible speed towards us in a nosedive that would put a buzzard to shame. Oh god, wouldn't you know it, that thing has goddamn tee-

Six.

Complete white.

Seven.

Prokaryotes around us. The sound of them moving was very unsettling, if not straight up disturbing. Wasn't as bad as the smell though, something was either being digested or decaying. Then I heard it;

"Aight, fuck it, I'm gonna pull a little stunt here."

Eight.

Site-19. Middle of the cafetaria. Our table floating no less than a meter over their heads. I couldn't hold myself back when I realised;

"Good luck with the paperwork suckers!"

Nine.

Back at the bar. However, somehow we changed from seat… and clothes. I just realized that I could have gone back to earth multiple times by now… My drinking mate, knew as well. And yet, I was not having any regrets at the moment. Perhaps it was the alcohol? Aaaah, the alcohol.

Ten.

Some random place in the middle of space, with stars and stars wherever you could see. Reminded me of the face in front of me. How do they even drink? Fuck it, I might not see how they drink, but I certainly will see if they can hold their liquor.

Eleven.

Back at the bar. On the right side of the table, and more importantly back in my own clothes. Neither of us reached to the next glass.

"Please don't tell me I'm the only one that's feeling like vomiting after all this."

"Can you even do that? You pour drinks into your bottomless face and get drunk, didn't think it could work the other way around."

"If you thought it was bottomless, why would you challenge me to drink with you?"

"Well, I kinda expected you to not have much of a body, if at all. Especially since- Hick. If this weren't some conceptual or mind boggling plane or whatever, the Foundation, and I to a certain extend, would definitely already found out that much."

"It surprises me how you are both so right, yet so wrong and you don't even know it."

"Care to explain?"

"Oh, I will… if you manage to beat me."

Twelve.

Overconfidently, we took our shots. Their face started to lower to the table a mere moment earlier than mine. And then they hit their face against it. Then the weird shifting stuff happened again, not uncontrollably or continuously as I expected now that my drinking mate was out. No, it happened just one more time.

We ended up on a bench. You know, one of the wooden kind you'd find in a well kept park. It looked out over a nebula partially hidden by a pink fog that subtly emitted light. I raised my head, which reminded me of how I got into this situation in the first place, and let my eyes rest on the breathtaking view. They probably were glimmering from, and back to, all the stars it showed me. Whilst I waited for my new friend to sober up, the silence had fallen gentler than a hatchling's plume and kept me company.

I don't know how long I'd been there, it could have been another three months for all that I cared.

I did not mind.

…

And they, they too liked the silence and the change of pace. They didn't talk right away, perhaps due to the influence of a hangover as well. But eventually my fairly won explanation came.

"So, who do you think I am?"

"Weren't you supposed to tell me that?"

"Yes, but I'd like to know how you see me before I drop the facade, or rather, some facts."

"I don't know. A spiritual celestial being or something? You make for one hell of a bartender though. A shame I can't tip you."

"Thanks, but money isn't really an issue. I'm- I'm-"

"Hmm?"

"I'm the universe. No, I'm just the awareness of the universe nowadays."

"Wait, how would that wo-"

"I lost control of my body, or at least nearly all of it. You know, stars and constellations, planets, orbits, entire clusters, and all the rest."

"How would that even happen. Like aren't you omnipotent or something?"

"No, I'm not. You see I can do a lot, or at least, I could. Still can do some tricks though as you saw between our drinking. The problem is… my body, the actual universe- Wait no, the original universe died a long time ago."

"The original?"

"Yeah, it- I died or rather am dying repeatedly. Or at least something in those trends. It's a bit hard to explain, especially since it happened so long ago. I know we have all the time in the world- No universe, now, but it is complicated."

"Wait so the universe is dying or something? Can't you interfere?"

"Why would I? Hell, why should I? I am just letting most things run their course. I don't mind living a bit longer if it makes everyone happy, but I won't go against nature anymore. Besides I can't do that anymore even if I wanted to."

"So you have manipulated things here and there along the lines?"

"Yes and no, see when I first thought I was going to die, and didn't because I wound up in a reset loop, everything seemed fine. But after more and more loops things started to get a little weird. More different settings and anomalies as you'd know them appeared. Some things keep existing, others disappear, sometimes even reappear."

"That does not-"

"Answer your question? No, it doesn't. Well, one day something showed up. Even I don't know how to look at it. Is it like a corruption in computers that happened over multiple reboots? Is it a thing enforcing something natural? Is it perhaps a part of me that wants to die or became its own being? Regardless of what it actually is, it is destructive and I could not make it disappear in the following loops. Trust me, I tried. That's what I tried to manipulate. Whether it's the right or wrong call I don't know. Even the universe makes mistakes."

"Making mistakes is a human thing to do as well."

"No, making mistakes is a universal thing to do, I just look humane to you because this is the form I shifted into. I think it's just a nice courtesy."

"So what you gonna do about it?"

"I was able to trap it in a planet, only for it to keep appearing from inside said planet. Then when it began breaking out, I reached out to other species to help."

"How did it go?"

"They are now extinct."

"Oh…"

"Well, if you can think of a way to stop it, feel free to let me know."

"I guess I can do a pitstop before trying to go home, also I think I'm pretty much unkillable. Not that I want to but it definitely might come in handy."

"Please, don't actually consider that. Because that thing will kill you, and if not you'll just die on repeat as well. Loops like that aren't something to take lightly, you should know from what I just told you."

There was a genuine trembling in their voice, and it was at this moment that I saw one last shot at my feed.

"I'll think about it. You've been one hell of a dude but I think it's beginning to be time for me to take my leave."

"Dude? Mate, I'm the universe, I'm unisex. Anyway, I'll get you out of here but please promise me-"

"My bad, won't happen again. Oh, and about leaving, I wasn't asking."

"Huh?"

I took the shot between my two fingers and raised it; "Ad fundum!"

They shouted; "Wait!" and reached out with one hand.

Now, I can't say for sure if they helped me get back, but I woke up in a desert with dried blood all around me. I don't know if something happened in between, but everything hurt a lot, more than expected.

But my hangover was the worst.

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